Circus and crosswords

Jul. 6th, 2025 10:19 pm
flexagon: (like smiley)
[personal profile] flexagon
A good week. Not much time to write it up but at circus there was h2h progress, handstand jump progress and my first spotted back walkover in several years. And when not at circus, I've poured many hours into working on constructing my crossword puzzle with my collaborator-mentor. Some into finishing up the last drawing lesson from the class I was given at Christmas. Some into making my July budget before the month started, and ordering a new external monitor (which I was always planning to do).

I was social and chill also; lunch/coffee with a couple of old co-workers, relaxing in [personal profile] motyl's pool. Went on a walk with my squirrel and the new camera, and learned a few more of its features. Found a good little park in which to go and take handstand photos, one of these weekdays when the kiddos aren't around.

I said I'd help organize some invasive weed pulling, but then I got too caught up in the crossword to do any of that today.

Felt a bit of FOMO, as it feels like everyone has done shrooms now (several of my friends for the first time this week) and I still haven't. However, I am about to go and ride roller coasters for a couple of days in Cedar Point. That should alter my consciousness pretty well.

(no subject)

Jul. 5th, 2025 03:08 am
vvalkyri: (Default)
[personal profile] vvalkyri
I'm in a tent kind of hard far from the house. It's not really technically all that far from the house but it's in a little alcove of woods. Now I keep hearing the animals I guess making things crackle
And it's mildly freaking me out and I really do need to go to sleep cuz it's after 3:00 and I'm sure people will be up fairly soon.

I guess I'll put earplugs in and hope I don't turn into a snack.

. .. oh cool. When I look out the tent windows I can see fireflies. I have thought they don't go to sleep hours ago.

Too much tree cover and too much
Light from Winchester for stars from here.

Happy 4th. Happy birthday mom. We could see some fireworks far away. Many many sets

I'm still kind of annoyed with myself for not staying over last night too. But that's okay. It's been a good evening.

It's amazing how late I manage to stay up regardless of when I try.

Really weird thing is the birds have never been quiet.

Looking forward to visiting more in the morning. I think I very much do like this little Walmart tent, three sardine. Works well when everything's mostly in the car. Someday I guess I have to try it out in the rain.

Picking apart a phobia

Jul. 4th, 2025 04:04 pm
flexagon: (stan)
[personal profile] flexagon
Some interesting (to me) progress on understanding my longstanding spiderweb phobia; not surprisingly, it isn't exactly and only spiderwebs. Back when I went to Norwood's birthday party, the subject came up of random things that gave us heebie-jeebies, and I mentioned spiderwebs as usual. His other ex asked me "Is it a texture thing?" which nobody had ever asked me before. I said maybe, or maybe in part, because the texture of having a web on you is pretty gross. Even though I also remembered trying one time to explain that a strand of web, once clinging to me, isn't exactly doing the web thing anymore... so I said that beyond texture there's also something about an invisible unknown structure in the air, holding stuff up, but whose extent is not known. I'm not particularly scared of cobwebs that are covered in dust or in dew/fog/moisture, or not in the same way -- though I'm still not about to go putting my hand in them, maybe that's the texture part.

So then more thinking. Looking at a dust-covered cobweb in the Esh bathroom, thinking "I could touch that and it would be gross, but I'm not getting much of a fear response." (Maybe I should touch it tomorrow).

Then in someone's backyard, there was some netting over an enclosure, and it looked invisible in some places because of the shade and the angle of the light; I could see leaves caught in the netting, and looking at that made me uncomfortable in a recognizable and related way. As if the leaves, hovering there obviously in a plane and supported by something, were stuck in a giant spiderweb. Weirdly, having become aware of it, I even got a ghost of the same feeling with bubbles in a coffee pod later (there were little bubbles on the surface of a big bubble -- annoyed, I made myself poke it with my finger to pop the bubbles).

Unless I'm surprised by something, or there's a web I have to deal with, this is all more a matter of discomfort than real fear.

I'm not the only one. There's some recent-ish discussion on Reddit lately, sometimes calling it "araneophobia", sometimes talking about things stuck on webs and "floating in the air" as a trigger (I identify with that). There's an article on Medium too, discussing it as a sensory "fear of touching" thing. For me, I think it's useful to realize that the sensory thing exists but is largely separate from the fear thing. And, I guess, nice to realize that I can still learn more about myself at this point in life.
vvalkyri: (Default)
[personal profile] vvalkyri
I've been running running running for so long.
And then when I'm not I just lose so much time.
And then it was 4a when I got to sleep last night after figuring I'd go to the Blues because of the DJs but it took me so long that I got there at 1045 and it's over 1130 . . . and the rest was fallen into the phone.

Danced with a couple of the VA Beach guys, but felt off kilter at the dance. Highly aware of not being a sought after partner. Or imagining that.

Could have driven out to the farm where I'm camping tonight after festivities. Probably should have. Ironically if I'd not brought my duffel upstairs there was almost noghting I'd have needed. Have tent and spare and mattress and spare in the car still, and there was laundry that could have become clothes for today and tomorrow. I think bug spray and sunscreen are also still in the car.

It's 2p. I need to get more moving.

I'm sure a lot of this is shock that the BBB passed. And there's SO MUCH bad. So much that people hadn't even really noticed. This'll trigger reconciliation which will affect medicare. Stuff with education. ICE as more funding than defense in several countries. 45mil just for building more detention.

And most states call medicaid something other than medicaid.

Most of the cuts and additional paperwork hoops won't come in until after the midterms. That's of course on purpose.

First night of ESCape!

Jul. 1st, 2025 12:55 am
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
[personal profile] sorcyress
I am at Pinewoods, is I think the way these entries start, and they are always happy entries to write.

I arrived at camp, and swung past my cabin in and amongst other tasks in order to open the windows and get it ready for me to bring all my stuff up. And upon opening the door, found the entire place covered in beautiful hanger fine art. There were probably about 50 hangers scattered across any hangerable surface, and a lovely wire sculpture dangling through the middle. My friends know me well, and I genuinely did use some of them to hang some of my clothes, so truly a win-win.

Unpacking was aided by a SamSam coming to say hello, and then off to the staff meeting, and then off to the porch. There are many people I adore here --more than I could easily spend time with all at once. That is one of the downsides of ESCape being so good and so popular. My affections have been a bit ADHD today, but I think I haven't left anyone feeling abandoned.

Dinner was delicious, dessert was vegan chocolate cake (I chose not to try and break my record from LCFD weekend, and only ate four pieces). And then there was some beautiful English dancing --I missed the first one but caught the other three, with kateface, then mom, then Robin. And then announcements. And then...

...my first night of calling, like as a serioustimes staff caller, holy shit. This is the biggest teaching assignment I've ever had, like, this could make or break my Scottish Country Dance career. (It's not gonna, there's enough other things I do that will also help, but this is a pretty serious event. It's still not the Big Goal, but it's well in the right direction).

And I nailed it. I got a _ton_ of compliments, including some from extremely well established callers themselves, and some of them with really lovely details that showed good attention and observation to what I try to do. At least one person told me I did a good job of not over-explaining, which is extremely funny to me to consider, given that I want to talk all the time endlessly about everything. But I do try and keep the dance floor flowing real fast --some of this is my training from my tutors, and some of this is my own kinesthetic learning (I want to _do_ the dance, not talk about the dance!)

I was a healthy four minutes under on my time limit, and they asked for an encore for the last one, and I said "yeah, this is a good thing to explain to the dancers anyways". I think I might've been just maybe a minute over after that, but not anything more (so I apologize if the dancers got a four minute break instead of five, or if Ben lost a minute of the contras). I will keep being hyperaware of the timing. I like trying to keep track of how long it takes to do things.

And then I was through the calling, five solid and rapidly done dances (and a very slight sense of smugness, because a week or two ago I got an email from the organizers being all "oh yeah, there are first night announcements and therefore your set needs to be a little shorter timewise than it normally would be, do you want to cut anything?" And I decided to be brave and sassy and said "you know, I _could_ cut the fourth dance if I need, but numbers two and three are 6x32 anyways, and I think I've got this. And I did!)

And the last dance I called was a bit of a stretch goal, a dance I absolutely _adore_ (Lords of the Wind), but felt like would maybe be tricky? And everyone did great! I called it well and clearly, and so the walk-through zipped along, and then we just did it and it went well and like I said, encored! I am getting more and more evidence for the fact that I can and should take the really fun slightly complex flowy dances and go ham on them, even with extremely mixed-level floors. Because I'm surprisingly good at calling them, and my confidence is carrying over so that my dancers can dance them.

(and my music was so good already, and I have three more days to listen to this! Amazing!!!)

After I finished, I got to look at a cool bug (putting a line in my bio that said "I love cool bugs show them to me" ACTUALLY WORKED!) and I chatted with mom some and I determined that I was extremely sticky and hot, despite not having dancing, so I'd better do a couple contras to really commit to being hot enough to jump in the pond after. A lovely one with Myles where we exactly crossed the floor from first to last couple, and then the last contra I danced with Mo and we did a social experiment around carcinization.

(It started as the usual kinda goofing around, with some nice gremliny deep knee squats on the petronella. I'm not sure who in the walk-through turned it into crab hands and sideways prancing around to the next place. But Mo and I committed, and did it every single time our way around, even though it was _exhausting_. It was a ton of fun, and I'd say over 75% of the neighbor couples did at least a little crabbing with us! And after, singleSam1, who had been the couple just in front of us, complimented us on the fact that they were chased by the delighted laughter of couples becoming crabs with us for the whole dance).

Austin and I waltzed, which was lovely lovely lovely, and then I managed to squeze between Austin and Tess for the song. Into the pond go I, which was surprisingly perfect. I still didn't stay long, but I didn't jump in and start cussing (which happens a lot to me) and when I came out, I was not immediately shivering.

Party and admiring tinfoil costumes and a polycool meeting and back to my cabin relatively on time to sleep. If I hurry, I could get six hours solid before having to go to breakfast! That'd be keen. Just have to dip down to the wifi shed to upload these, and then go brush my teeth.

Happy happy happy!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: "bells Sam" is not actually a differentiator, because SamSam also does bells.

Rebuilding journal search again

Jun. 30th, 2025 03:18 pm
alierak: (Default)
[personal profile] alierak posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance
We're having to rebuild the search server again (previously, previously). It will take a few days to reindex all the content.

Meanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.
flexagon: (Default)
[personal profile] flexagon
Overall: heat wave, with the bug briefly testing positive for covid but me not getting it, followed by a pretty nice weekend. It felt like a lot of time went to chores and things while the bug was sick, but a lot of good stuff and progress happened regardless:


  • Last week's heat wave did a number on my plants, which crisped up and lost a lot of leaves. There's another one coming, though not as bad as last week's, and I guess I'll water them more often this time but I'm starting to doubt they'll survive the summer. It's only June, ffs. I finished the stump and planted a new plant in there, though, and that's pretty cute.

  • Some cooking beyond just meal kits: apricot quatre quarts pound cake which came out really, really good. Might make again. Might even buy the proper pan! Then I also made beef bourguignon for a friend whose cat is dying, because it's her favorite... and I also had no idea how long it was going to take. Ahahahahaha, "what's her favorite recipe?" Famous last words. She was glad to have it though.

  • The new session has started at circus school! I've got my Friday nights back, but am doing a walkover miniseries with the tumbling coach on Thursdays and the first lesson was fun. I just need a reason to keep backbending so that I don't lose it.

  • Medical stuff: dermatologist on Tuesday (I talked them into slicing off a mole I disliked), and an ultrasound on Friday. The ultrasound was for a lymph node in my groin that had mytseriously remained swollen for 3 months in the absence of evident infection or sickness, which they really aren't supposed to do... welp, the ultrasound showed a dumb little subcutaneous skin cyst right over my normal, healthy lymph node. The little thing had everyone fooled, including my RN. So learning that it's essentially nothing is great news. I also had an eyelid-puffing thing that started on Thursday, got worse through Friday night and is now getting better. Mysteries.

  • Finished Chants of Senaar with the bug on Tuesday, and Frieren Season 1 with the squirrel on Wednesday.

  • Went kayaking on the Mystic River with [personal profile] apfelsingail and my squirrel! Super fun. We had temperate weather, clouds and a calm river.

  • Not sure what to say about my progress creating a crossword, but my collaborator for the 2nd time thinks we have a gimmick & theme combo worth digging in on, and we are Doing Spreadsheets in pursuit of same. I also, separately, downloaded and played around with Ingrid, the latest crossword construction software, which has been fun. Digging through wordlists gets me into some really random corners of language -- like, did you ever notice that BOVINE TUBERCULOSIS contains both VINE and TUBER? No! I bet you hadn't!



OK, and here's one more thing that's weirder. I passed a message to Lioness, who hasn't really responded respectfully to me in five years, and got a perfectly reasonable response back! I am astounded. Passing the message through a mutual friend we both trust is apparently what made the difference. I think that what I care about here is that a) she responded, instead of insisting I don't exist I'm not part of her life, and b) now I know for sure that she knows that Lion is trying to re-start some level of friendship with me. The actual content of her message was the usual "I don't care" bullshit, but that doesn't matter to me as much as a) and b) do, because I already know she's avoidant. I wanted the meta-message, and to be a little less scared. So here's to long shots and making strange requests of distant connections, I guess.

Ready for camp!

Jun. 29th, 2025 10:22 pm
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
[personal profile] sorcyress
I finished all my packing for Pinewoods _surprisingly_ early --I was done a bit before 2:30pm, which was surprisingly charming. It meant that mom and Robin and I could go out to Boda Borg for the afternoon! We did a lovely four hour run, in which we got three stamps (Quiz Show: Quotes, Star Trails, and the weather one) and morally got a fourth (the last room of Area 51 is _much_ harder with three than with five, and even when we temporarily joined with another group, we still couldn't quite get it, but we know the _idea_). It was jolly!

I'm somewhat unsettled by being fully packed, and reassuring myself with the fact that I still have a bunch of MC/teacher prep work I can/should do, and a fair chunk of printing that needs to happen (after the prep work). I did find my _critically_ important Rowan1 notebook, which has my ESCape teaching notes for every year starting when I got my full certificate in 2019. It was extremely lost, and I probably spent a total of 20-30 minutes trying to find it, sigh.

I am excited and pleased to leave for ESCape tomorrow. I'll be in the camp in the woods until the 12th or 13th of July or so, so probably not a lot of posting, and definitely continuing my horrid streak of not reading very well. I really ought to figure out a way to work reading dreamwidth into my day-to-day life at times other than part of Standard Morning Routine, because all this traveling and adventure nonsense means my standard routine hasn't been.

I've definitely mentioned somewhere here that I'm teaching at ESCape, right? I am _psyched_ for that. Really strongly looking forward to it, and kinda wicked excited that I will then be going to Scottish sessions and having very few responsibilities so I can just kinda kick back and actually relax for a tickyboo. Maybe I will even wind up working at camp a skootch, who knows!

Anyways, today has been pretty good, even if I've been Very Tired (it is possible I was up _stupid_ late last night in order to do most of my packing, but it's okay, I've had a lot of days in a row of getting eight or nine hours of sleep. I've got backup sleep! Which is very very good to go into Pinewoods with.)

I hope you are well and happy and having good adventures. I hope that we can have a better world than the one that is actually happening. I wish I had anything more useful to say than that.

~Sor

MOOP!

1: Rowan is the mascot of the RSCDS youth branch. They are a sheep and they use they pronouns and they are extremely important to me. I have cosplayed them! Carefully, since specifically they are a Scottish Blackface Sheep.

Hi from the mountain

Jun. 28th, 2025 12:06 pm
vvalkyri: (Default)
[personal profile] vvalkyri
. I think I left my keyboard at the house in New Jersey it's a lot harder to write on my phone. I went to sleep at 6:00 after finally getting around to setting up the bed in the tent at like 5:30 a.m. . Got the tent up around dusk.

I'm thinking a lot about memory. Like I extrapolated that I drove amq up at some point because I had stayed over at some point and taken public transit into NYC.

But I remember little about that NYC trip and nothing of driving up together in 19.

If I'd written in dream with maybe I would even be able to find it I have no idea.

It's very tempting to go back to sleep. But it's noon.

I do adore that the tent is comfortable right now and not hot. And I wasn't cold last night either.

Maybe I'll write more sometime.

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